"All birds are either pigeons or parrots to me, you know what I mean?"
I nearly drove us into a ditch.
Shout-outs to all the fans who did nothing for me while I was stuck in a hot car. Thanks to you, the #Hot car saga name is ruined. It’s worthless to me now. Feel free to use it to post about your own vehicular entrapment from now on. You deserve it.
I don’t know the street value of a Sirius radio, but I want to take this moment to thank Kia for including a sticker to let thieves know there’s more than air fresheners and Calvin Harris CDs in this car.
I would be helping my girlfriend clean out her dorm room right now, but I refuse to be Tom Sawyered by a woman.
#Hot car saga is a registered trademark of Suey Park. I’m paying her half a cent each time I tumbl it.
If lizards knew what I know about car tires, maybe they wouldn’t sit under the fucking things waiting for me to accidentally murder them.
Allow me too simulate the authentic Angry Biology experience:
“Zebra stripes evolved, in part, to confuse the vision of blood-sucking insects.”
Below is a picture of a zebra’s anus, bordered by black and white stripes. Try as you might, you cannot bring yourself to focus on the image. You flutter helplessly.
For anyone who’s curious, the lack of updates is partially due to a lack of a working computer with photoshop.
The more followers I lose sitting in this car, the better. You guys are like remoras to me. One is marginally parasitic. Five thousand are a plague.