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Anonymous said: as a user who is not an ant irl I am extremely offended by your anti-ant posts

New evidence suggests that ants may also be capable of lying.

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Scientist suspects there may exist an ant capable of using computers. Preliminary evidence: blog posting ant hate loses a single follower.

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I like my ants the way I like my coffee: filled with sugar and poison.

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How to get rid of ants in your home:

One cup water
Eight teaspoons sugar
Two teaspoons boric acid (check The Home Depot)

Mix in a disposable container. Leave drops of the resulting solution on pieces of aluminum foil near an existing trail of ants. This poison acts slowly (24-48 hours), and will ideally be fed to the queen before it starts killing. Don’t use it unless the ants are actually in your house, and wash your measuring spoons thoroughly after using them with boric acid (or just fucking eyeball it, honestly).

If this doesn’t work, give up and call a real exterminator. I take no responsibility for any idiots who hurt themselves trying this.

Tags: ants
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Don’t let your cat grow up to be a tramp. Invest in Angry Biology today.

Don’t let your cat grow up to be a tramp. Invest in Angry Biology today.

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I only eat food that’s as recklessly unhealthy as possible. I want my body to be uninhabitable. When I die, decomposers will think I’m a terminator, and the Catholic church will think I’m a saint.

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When I see ants in my shower, I wash away all but one, so that it can go add a story about me to their tiny ant Bible.

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The anus is the most appealing part of a horse. Billions of flies can’t be wrong.

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Yard sale at my place. Come buy the Newton’s cradle that cost two cats their very lives. Buy it you monsters.